7 Criticisms Parents Of Littles Are Sick of Hearing
When you’re a mom to a litter of littles, you’re subjected to some pretty moronic remarks made by strangers almost as if your tiny posse is an open invitation for outsiders’ opinions. Calling my clan a litter might be an small exaggeration as there are only three and they aren’t animal offspring as the definition…
Why It F*cking Sucks To Have Sick Kids
I am so sick and tired of everyone being so sick and tired. Whether it be the season, a new environment or because God has a sick sense of humor, my household has become a cesspool of germs. I can’t remember one full week during the entirety of this past year where everyone in our…
Learn To Be Selfish Before You Lose Yourself
I didn’t realize how necessary it was to break free and get away until a friend’s recent visit presented me with a rare opportunity to escape my house, family and #momlife. This was the first time in four years, I spent the night away from my children – other than giving birth to their sibling…
Why Saying Goodbye To Breastfeeding Is Bittersweet
It’s bittersweet to say goodbye to breastfeeding, pumping and nursing in its entirety. After 7 exceptionally long months, I’m closing up shop. This decision was partly made for me when my supply took a serious dip after returning to work, but mostly I’m ready to be done. Will I miss it? Absolutely. Nothing will replace that…
No, I Don’t Celebrate Valentine’s Day. Yes, I’m Happily Married.
While dropping my little one off at school, I can’t help to notice the parade of balloons, flowers, tiny stuffed animals and other assorted celebratory knick-knacks making its way into the building. All I can think is, Awwww ain’t that cute, while reminiscing of a time long ago when Valentine’s Day meant something. As my son…
The Struggle That Is Mombrain
Lately, I feel like I’m in a relentless struggle to remember anything and everything. I barely know what month we’re in, let alone what day of the week it is. I’m always in a constant search for my lost cup(s) of coffee, keys are being left in the door and my debit card is always…
Third Pregnancy Blues
I’m officially over being pregnant. I was over it long before seeing that plus sign appear on the test strip. This is my third pregnancy in a little over three years and it feels like I’ve been pregnant forever. Some people love being pregnant. Me? No, I most certainly do not. If one more person tells…
Breastfed Baby Blowouts Are No Freaking Joke
It’s amazing how interesting poop becomes once you have children. Upon the birth of your first born, it naturally becomes socially acceptable to discuss shit in the greatest of detail. The other day I found myself casually discussing baby crap with a nice stranger at the bank. From the color to the texture to smell…
Helpful Hints When Giving My Child A Gift
I find myself drowning in intense anticipation while watching my child open a present – not in the ‘I-can’t-wait-to-see-what-Karen-got-you’ type of excitement, but rather an ‘oh-great-what-new-toy-will-be-the-latest-bane-of-my-existence’ kind of way. Every time a new toy enters our house, or even re-surfaces it’s way to the top of some abandoned pile of fellow misfits, in one way…
Why It’s Damn Near Impossible To Talk On The Phone
Every time a moment arises where I need to talk on the phone, the same thought runs through my head, Ugh. Fuck. Some serious contemplation goes into whether or not I dare make a call. Do I like to talk on the phone? No, I hate it. Why? Because it’s damn near impossible to keep…
